#mitch. your nerd is showing

[mitchftw]

You know... super mushrooms do just look like Toad heads...

"Suggesting the theory that there's decapitation going on...what do you do with the bodies then? Or...are these like baby Toads...? I think I need to replay the Mario games...Or bother Five..."

[crosbyism]

Next Generation’s Best | Five

An essay on generational talents, gender, and the NHL in six parts.

<Previous | Masterpost

Part Five: Curtain Call

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming out to see our show tonight! Before the final act, let's get all our lovely generational talents so far up onto the stage. For your entertainment, here they are: the seductive Spanish Russian, the meek princess, the hard-working hot fat-lipped nerd, the Diva, the gold-digger, the slut, and last but certainly not least: the virgin! Flanked by our wonderful dashing gentlemen Mr. Hockey and Le Magnifique, they are your: National Hussy League!

—

Okay, so I’ll spell it out: skill is soft. Not fighting is soft. Being short and slight is soft. Being a foreigner is soft. Not growing a beard is soft. Soft means whatever slur-du-jour you want it to mean, but in the end it mostly means: like a girl, where like a girl means: bad. Worse. Lacking. Weak. 

This all started because I kept seeing the phrase: "the first male hockey player to suffer from misogyny". But trying to figure out which man’s had misogyny wielded against them—and making a competition out of it— is pointless. Truly, there's almost no man that hasn't. Misogyny is ubiquitous in society, and even all-male sports leagues aren't exempt from that. It might be the virgin-whore dichotomy, it might be putting them up on a pedestal, it might be an objectifying kind of sexualisation.

It’s all forcefully stamped pink. In the way pink means: "ew, it’s pink".

2015

Connor McDavid’s biggest crime wasn’t going to the Oilers. It was going there about 35 years after Gretzky.

35 years is the exact span of time for no one to be left who really, properly remembers. That Wayne was small and slow and slight. That he looked like a girl. There’s only statues and banners left now, and even Zdeno Chara looks small next to those. Wayne Gretzky does, too.

Connor McDavid is the fastest player in the league. He’s tall. He started being able to grow a full beard before he hit 25. He's the physical ideal. Everyone in the league’s afraid of playing him. For some reason, he just can’t win a Cup or make it out of Gretzky’s shadow.

I wonder if he’s met Eric Lindros.

—

Auston Matthews isn’t just tall, he’s big. Wears a mustache and has the type of receding masculine hairline that makes reporters leave out words like soft or elegant.

They use words they used for Alex Ovechkin, instead. Big, flashy, loud. Times have trucked along, so he’s barely not getting slut-shamed. But they really, really want to call him Papi for some reason.

—

Everyone keeps wanting Nathan MacKinnon to be someone else. He just isn’t, so they can’t figure out what to do with him. He’s not small, he’s not frail, he’s got a remarkably broken nose, he’s fast, he’s skilled. He’s truly an all-rounder. He had a sophomore slump, and that was his second biggest crime; being a normal young adult man, by which I mean: a failure.

The biggest was making himself eligible for a Lady Byng in 2017. Why would they hand out the Hart to anyone who can’t rack up a respectable amount of penalty minutes like a real man?

—

Some days it seems like Leon Draisaitl went to the Evgeni Malkin school for alternate captains. A little more blunt, owed either to his inherent Germanness or the fact that it’s easier to afford to be, these days. Their professional personalities are mostly where the similarities end. They’re still the two NHL players most likely to be called “bitchy”.

—

Funnily enough, I don’t think it’s ever occurred to Mitch Marner how much he has in common with Sidney Crosby. I wonder if it’s occurred to Sid to commiserate.

To be fair, it’s been a long time since either of them were rookies getting crushed under the vicious, jealous pressure of older, bigger men in positions of authority. I suppose being the focus of derogatory media frenzies is still up for grabs as a topic of conversation.

Then again, I’d wager they’d probably both prefer to use the opportunity to talk about dogs instead.

2024

The Olympics, by their original definitions in ancient Greece, only allowed men to compete in sporting events. Women have been allowed to participate since the second iteration of the modern Olympics in 1900. For years, very few disciplines were offered, and few women participated. 

In 2020, women were allowed to bear their countries' flags along with men for the first time. This year, 2024, was the first year there was almost full gender parity, meaning almost every discipline was offered in the same format for both men and women, and there was almost an equal amount of athletes in both genders participating. 

—

The Battle of the Sexes was the title given to a significant sporting event in the mid-twentieth century in tennis that broke the barrier for tennis to develop a mixed-gender discipline. 

There was a huge movement around that time and afterwards to end gender segregation and allow women in men's leagues. The idea was to create true best-on-best tournaments and also to give women access to better pay and worker's rights in those leagues. Somehow, tennis is the only sport where it really stuck. 

Chess is still a gender-segregated sport.

—

The inaugural season of a professional women’s ice hockey league has happened at least four times. The most recent was last season's inaugural PWHL season. 

The season openers for their second season are this Saturday. I recommend giving them a watch; the world's best ice hockey player plays for the Montréal Victoire. Her name is Marie-Philip Poulin.

<Previous | Masterpost

[maxverstappensflatbrim]

Show Me Yours Incorrect Quotes

I got bored and I'm having a major's writer block so I messed around with an incorrect quotes generator for Show Me Yours

(here's the link for anyone interested: https://incorrect-quotes-generator.neocities.org/)

Tommie and Matty

Tommie: Matty... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Matty: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Tommie: Tommie: I wrote sanitize, Matty.

Tommie: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Matty: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Tommie, desperately, as Matty bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Matty: Oh! B positive. Tommie: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Matty:

Tommie: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Matty: Oh, I’m always running Matty: The question is from what

The Band

Tommie: Bye Matty! Bye Ross! Bye George! Bye Adam! Bye Matty! Ross: You said ‘bye Matty’ twice. Tommie: I like Matty.

Matty: I’m an idiot. Ross: George: Adam: Tommie: Matty: Tommie: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Tommie: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Matty: I witnessed the dumb stuff. George: I recorded the dumb stuff. Ross: I joined in on the dumb stuff. Adam: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Matty: What does 'take out' mean? Ross: Food. Adam: Dating George: Murder Tommie: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Adam: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life Matty: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! Tommie: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this! Ross: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! George: My moral code, is that you? Adam: Adam: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

Matty: Ross, can I talk to you for a second? Ross: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Tommie are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Matty: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

George: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Tommie: The car takes a screenshot. Adam: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Adam: This is such a bad idea. Tommie: Then why are you coming along? Adam: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Adam: Tommie... Tommie: Oh no, 'Tommie' in b-flat. Tommie: You're disappointed.

Tommie and Others

Tommie: Caleb and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Caleb: Sentences. Tommie: Don't interrupt me.

Tommie: Am I in trouble? Jamie: Take a guess. Tommie: No? Jamie: Take another guess.

Mitch: Must be hard not being able to laugh Tommie: I do have a sense of humor you know Mitch: I’ve never heard you laugh before Tommie: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Phoebe: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Tommie: You mean literally or figuratively? Phoebe: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Phoebe: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works. Tommie, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Jamie, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Tommie: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Jamie, with the tone of someone who is used to Tommie: Outstanding. Jamie: This is what I’m talking about people.

Jamie Cook: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Tommie: The cow??? Jamie Cook: What? Ross: Tommie, W H Y?

[mitch-petrol]

They’re both pretty chill for the most part um Lillie’s kind of a massive nerd who will just talk your ear off about whatever show she’s watching lately if you let her and Sophie’s pretty quiet honestly but sometimes she brings in like cookies and stuff that I think she makes. I see her joking around with Lillie sometimes but that’s about it I dunno maybe she’s just nervous around me but yeah. I think they went to highschool together or something?

Oh if uh Lillie gives you any trouble just let me know she’s been kind of grilling short Mitch for life details and I think it might be because he’s the new guy which would make you the new new guy. I told her already to knock that off but yknow if she doesn’t I can talk to Tread about it for you.

hey uhh Tread said you could give me a tour since I’m starting here Sunday but if you’re to busy I could come back tomorrow

-Jake

Oh yeah uh sure, the girls can handle things we’re pretty much wrapping up the day here.

[freedomfireflies]

Blurbs Masterlist!

Thought I'd add the blurbs to the main masterlist! And if you'd like to check them out (or need something to do while you pass the time in the bathroom), I've added them to this post, so they're all yours! You'll find some for Harry Styles, Dylan O'Brien, and Chris Evans!

Thank you again to everyone requesting, this is so much fun!

Main Masterlist (With full series)

~ Me? Jealous?

Best friend Harry

~ Rough and Loving It*

You tell Harry to get his anger out with you

~ How Do You Like Me Now?

Harry tells you he loves you more

~ Who Knew Olive Gardens Were Sexy?*

Makeup sex

~ Middle-Class Seats, First-Class Fun*

Meeting famous Harry on a flight

~ Soul Surfer

Scary Harry gets a scare

~ Speak Now

Best friends to lovers

~ Wet Dreams*

Harry catches you fucking yourself

~ Dangerous Games

Famous Harry is a PR nightmare

~ Harry in Subspace*

~ Showing Harry Around Hungary

~ I Don't Need You (But I Want You)*

Harry is your ex...but what's one last time?

~ Jealousy All Through the Weeknd

You and Harry run into your ex, Abel

~ Agent Dumbass

You get shot, Harry gets pissed

~ Stitch Me Up

Harry gets shot, You get pissed

~ Apple Orchards / Bon Iver Songs*

You and Harry get frisky in public

~ Sunny with a Chance of Stalking | Pt. 2

You find yourself behind bars with the very man accused of stalking you

~ I Think I'm Losing It

Pregnancy announcement on tour

~ Mirror, Mirror

Feeling a bit insecure

~ Maybe Harry's Not So Bad

You think Harry as having an affair

~ Ring, Ring! Hello? It's Horny*

You're feeling needy and call Harry while he's in a meeting

~ Lights, Camera...Angela?

Harry's director hits on him

~ And The Winner Is...*

Harry Wins a Grammy

~ Paging Dr. McHarry

You're a nurse and Harry needs help (Grey's Anatomy Crossover)

~ Harry in Your Highlight Reel | Pt. 2

Instagram concept

~ Keep Me*

Harry in subspace

~ Cruel and Unusual Punishment*

Harry keeps you strapped to a toy during his show

~ Better Not Pout*

The one where Harry isn’t leaving until he gets what he really came for.

~ Destiny

You see Harry for the last time

~ A Mother's Touch*

You and Harry celebrate Mother's Day

~ Always*

Harry Styles x Spencer Reid crossover

~ It Had to Be You*

Your ex-stepdad has something to tell you

~ The Walls Have Ears

Your best friend's brother, Harry, overhears something he shouldn't

~ No Tears Left To Cry

You and Harry get into an argument and he makes you cry

~ The Prism*

You, Harry, and Dylan go to a sex club

~ The First Time*

Your first time with Harry

~ Baby's First Baby

Harry tries to accept life and death

~ The Boy with Angel Wings

You and Harry roam the streets of Japan

~ Code Red

Harry is prepared to help with your period

~ Forevermore

Final show concept

Blurbs about Dylan and his different characters! (Gosh he's so pretty)

Dylan:

~ Getting Caught is Much More Fun*

Dylan wants a word...alone

~ Apple Orchards / Bon Iver Songs*

You and Dylan get frisky in public

~ Pillowtalk

You're secretly hooking up with the nerd...turns out, he's not so bad

~ Bathroom Briefing*

Secret meetings in the bathroom can be quite a bit of fun

~ The Prism*

You, Dylan, and Harry go to a sex club

Thomas:

~ Thomas the Angry Train

Thomas doesn't like your idea for the mission

~ Thomas the Angry Train pt. 2

You disobeyed his one order...and now you have to face his wrath

Mitch:

~ Alone Time Is Better With You*

You catch Mitch touching himself

~ One of Those Days*

You're having a bad day, but Mitch is there to make it better

Stiles:

~ Injured and Angsty*

Stiles hurt his wrist, but you're there to take care of him

~ Chaos, Strife, Pain...and You*

Turns out, Void feeds on more than chaos

~ Scott's a Peeping Tom

Scott catches you and Stiles making out

~ Now Let Me Hear You Cheer

Stiles can't get enough of your new cheer uniform

~ Tell Me a Secret

Stiles is rather secretive about his time at Eichen House

Richie:

~ Secrets, Sex, and Scandals pt. 1* | Pt. 2

You and Riche are sneaking around

~ Staying Out of Trouble*

Richie just can't help himself when it comes to you

Blurbs about Chris and his characters! Because everybody loves Chris!

Chris:

~ I Need You

You and Chris get into a fight, but neither of you can sleep until you've made it right

~ Have My Baby

Chris wants a future with you

~ Harry Styles Has Got Nothing On You

Chris is a little insecure about your past relationship

~ Make Me Your Future

Turns out, Chris needs a reminder on why you're his favorite

Full Masterlist

Credit for the amazing dividers to @firefly-graphics

[nanowrimo]

The Unfunny Person’s Guide to Writing Humor

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. First Draft Pro, a 2022 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is a collaborative writing app built for story-nerds. Today, they’ve partnered with novelist and screenwriter Sam Beckbessinger to share some tips on writing humor. Don’t forget to check out the offer to NaNoWriMo writers to try out First Draft Pro for free this month!

Here’s the problem: you love a joke. You’re perfectly able to get into a good banter with your buddies. You’re hilarious in a DnD game. You’re the comedian of your group chats. But put you in front of a blank page and suddenly you’re about as funny as a statistics textbook*. Your manuscripts are full of notes like << INSERT JOKE HERE??? >>. You wouldn’t actually want to sit next to any of your characters at a dinner party.

* There is a marginal likelihood that a funny statistics textbook exists somewhere, but it would be a real outlier.

Well, I have good news for you! Writing humor is a skill that can be learned like any other.

How comedy works

If you’re going to try to write humor, it helps to understand how comedy works. It’s very simple: the logic of humor is surprise.

Fundamentally, here’s how most jokes work: you create an expectation, and then you do something wildly unexpected. Take standup comedian Mitch Hedberg: “This shirt is dry-clean only, which means it’s dirty.” The first sentence by itself isn’t funny; it becomes funny when the second sentence subverts it. A joke is a story, and a punchline is a mini plot-twist.

You’ve got to build up to the subversion. Humor has a specific rhythm to it. You start off slower and more detailed, establishing the pattern, painting the picture, ratcheting up the tension… then BAM, you come in with the twist. Take this exchange from Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

“You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”

“Why, what did she tell you?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”

Notice the rhythm of this exchange. The first paragraph is slow, with long sentences and dry multisyllabic words, then the writing speeds up to deliver the punchline. You build the tension, then you break the tension. A lot of humour is in the timing.

So if you’re trying to be funny, the trick is to pull off this little tension > surprise dance on every level of granularity in your prose. There are funny words, funny individual sentences, funny situations, and entire characters who are hilarious (usually, the ones who take themselves very very seriously).

And there are specific tricks to help you do this, like:

The rule of three

Double meanings

Exaggeration & absurd comparisons

Callbacks

Come join us over on the First Draft Pro blog, where I’ll show you how they work!

Sam Beckbessinger writes weird horror stories and kids tv shows, and helps people learn to adult better (she's still figuring it out herself).

[themysterycrewau]

Introduction

Hello geeks, weirdos, and explorers! Welcome to the Mystery Crew AU blog! My name is Matsurra, and I created this au on my main blog @maki-matsurra!

How It Started

I am a huge fan of Gravity Falls. From the writing to the characters, to the art style. It was truly an amazing show that deserves so much love and attention. I joined the fandom a little late, but nevertheless, enjoyed every episode I binged.

I'm also a huge fan of the stop-motion Laika movies! I got to see Coraline in 3D when it was first in theaters (yes, the movie did give me nightmares), and I just really loved it too! The aesthetic of the movie and the story and characters as well were top-notch! Paranorman is a movie I know not many people may know about, but it's still such a good movie and should be checked out! When I watched that movie, there were so many scenes where I was just bawling my eyes out in sadness or just on the edge of my seat.

Now, as a fanfiction writer, I love to try and combine fandoms to make crazy new fanfics, sometimes taking inspiration from fan art or just fan edit videos. This AU actually came to me when listening to Follow the Sun while sitting outside. I wondered; "What would a universe be like if Coraline, Paranoman, and Gravity Falls were in the same one?" And then well... Ta-da! It came to be!

I posted the first chapter of the first book for the AU on May 1st, 2022 on Tumblr, then on AO3 on July 29th, 2022, titling it The Button Key. And the fanfic is still being worked on to this day.

Meet The Crew

Coraline Jones 🗝️

Full Name: Coraline Jones

Age: 13 (Currently)

Home: Pink Palace Apartments, Gravity Falls, Oregon

Family: Mel Jones (Mother), Charlie Jones (Father)

Friends/Allies: Wybie Lovat (Best Friend), Mabel Pines (Best Friend), Dipper Pines (Best Friend), Norman Babcock (Best friend), The Cat, April Spink, Miriam Forcible, Mr. Bobinksy, Stan Pines, Ford Pines, Soos, Wendy Corduroy, Courtney Babcock, Niel Downe, Mitch Downe

Enemies: Other Mother, Other Father (former), Alvin (former), Pacifica Northwest (former), Gideon Gleeful, Bill Cipher

Item/Symbol: Button Key

Other Info (Will be updated as time goes on) - Goes to Gravity Falls Middle School - Wears her orange gloves to school - Favorite class is Science (Specifically loves learning Earth Science) - Previously lived in Pontiac, Michigan - Skilled Artist - Also likes Astrology

Wybie Lovat 💀

Full Name: Wyborne "Wybie" Lovat

Age: 14 (Currently)

Home: His Grandmother's house, Gravity Falls, Oregon

Family: His Grandmother

Friends/Allies: Coraline Jones (Best Friend), Mabel Pines (Best Friend), Dipper Pines (Best Friend), Norman Babcock (Best friend), The Cat, April Spink, Miriam Forcible, Mr. Bobinksy, Stan Pines, Ford Pines, Soos, Wendy Corduroy, Courtney Babcock, Niel Downe, Mitch Downe

Enemies: Other Mother, Alvin (former), Pacifica Northwest (former), Gideon Gleeful, Bill Cipher

Item/Symbol: Mask with a skull on it

Other Info (Will be updated as time goes on) - Goes to Gravity Falls Middle School - Wears his skeleton bike gloves to school - Favorite class is Science - Loves to go to dirt bike races - Parents passed away in a car accident

Dipper Pines 🌲

(Art by the amazing @your-local-neighborhood-nerd) Full Name: Mason "Dipper" Pines

Age: 12 (Currently)

Home: 618 Gopher Road, Gravity Falls, Oregon (The Mystery Shack)

Family: Mr. Pines, Mrs. Pines ✝️, Mabel Pines (Twin Sister), Stan Pines (Granduncle and current caretaker), Ford Pines (Granduncle)

Friends/Allies: Coraline Jones (Best Friend), Wybie Lovat (Best Friend), Norman Babcock (Best friend), The Cat, April Spink, Miriam Forcible, Mr. Bobinksy, Soos, Wendy Corduroy, Courtney Babcock, Niel Downe, Mitch Downe

Enemies: Other Mother, Alvin (former), Pacifica Northwest (former), Gideon Gleeful (former), Bill Cipher

Item/Symbol: Pine Tree

Other Info (Will be updated as time goes on) - Goes to Gravity Falls Middle School - Wears his hat everywhere - Favorite Class in English - Does well in all of his classes - Also loves Astrology - Trans ftm - Was adopted by Grunkle Stan ever since they were toddlers - Mother passed away during childbirth - Father is not in the picture

Mabel Pines 🌠

Full Name: Mabel Pines

Age: 12 (Currently)

Home: 618 Gopher Road, Gravity Falls, Oregon (The Mystery Shack)

Family: Mr. Pines, Mrs. Pines ✝️, Dipper Pines (Twin Brother), Stan Pines (Granduncle and current caretaker), Ford Pines (Granduncle)

Friends/Allies: Coraline Jones (Best Friend), Wybie Lovat (Best Friend), Norman Babcock (Best friend), The Cat, April Spink, Miriam Forcible, Mr. Bobinksy, Soos, Wendy Corduroy, Courtney Babcock, Niel Downe, Mitch Downe

Enemies: Other Mother, Alvin (former), Pacifica Northwest (former), Gideon Gleeful (former), Bill Cipher

Item/Symbol: Shooting Star

Other Info (Will be updated as time goes on) - Goes to Gravity Falls Middle School - Wears sweater over uniform - Favorite class is Art - Always comes prepared with bandaids and stickers - Was adopted by Grunkle Stan ever since they were toddlers - Mother passed away during childbirth - Father is not in the picture

Norman Babcock 📙

Full Name: Norman Babcock

Age: 13 (Currently)

Home: Gravity Falls, Oregon

Family: Perry Babcock (Father), Sandra Babcock (Mother), Courtney Babcock (Older Sister)

Friends/Allies: Coraline Jones (Best Friend), Wybie Lovat (Best Friend), Dipper Pines (Best Friend), Mabel Pines (Best Friend), April Spink, Miriam Forcible, Mr. Bobinksy, Soos, Wendy Corduroy, Niel Downe, Mitch Downe

Enemies: Aggie Prenderghast (former), Alvin (former), Pacifica Northwest (former), Gideon Gleeful (former), Bill Cipher

Item/Symbol: Fairytales Book

Other Info (Will be updated as time goes on) - Goes to Gravity Falls Middle School - Wears Red Hoodie over uniform - Favorite class is History - Loves to watch horror movies (especially with zombies in them) - The most skittish and shyest in the crew

Other Info (Will be Updated)

The Pink Palace is within walking distance of The Mystery Shack (2 Miles Away)

Some of the characters are aged up a little, but not too much (I did this so they could somewhat be in the same grade and class in school)

The Mystery Shack is where the crew hangs out most of the time

Pacifica has a small crush on Dipper

Fanfics

The Button Key (Book 1) [Avaliable on AO3!] Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

[sleepy-achilles]

Hallo Sleepy! I have a little soft spot for Leon so I have a couple of questions about him <3 - Mitch

🥪 SANDWICH — what does your oc's typical lunch look like? do they usually eat lunch?

🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND — what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

🌹 [ROSE] Does your OC believe in true love? Why?

🍑 [PEACH] How do they show their kindness? How kind are they truly?

I like to bully him but the truth is I also have a soft spot for Leon. He's got that effect on people.

🥪- Leon is like taker in the fact he doesn't have to eat and will often forget but he does crave a lot of sugar and fatty foods after like yk going all demon crazy, which is like all the time. So his goto foods are pizza and lollipops and milkshakes. He has a lot of them. He's also vegetarian, interesting fact for yall, he doesn't eat meat or fish, never has. Its interesting because he grows up in a hunting family of all meat eaters. Oh I forgot that Leon's also a big fan of cereals for any meal of the day. Especially colourful ones that he can't even see.

🍃- this might be shocking but yes, Leon did actually have a favourite subject in school and no it wasn't PE. Leon's favourite subject was History. He's just always been a history nerd.

🌹- Young Leon definitely didn't, man was a whore, but as he got older he started listening to his Pa's stories about true love and well he met drew and it was exactly like how his pa described it to be.

🍑- People definitely think Leon is mean and can't show kindness but I like to think that's not true. I like to think that this is what drew sees in Leon, Leon is actually one of the kindest people you know when you get close to him. You can't be a true dick when your raised by one of the sweetest men ever. Leon acts like a dick because he doesn't trust people. But Leon? Leon's a real sweetheart. He tends to do things without thinking, like passing someone a tissue or removing food a person doesn't like from their tray. He'll take the attention off someone when their embarrassed. He'll always make sure his opponents look good in the ring and are safe. He'll stick up for his opponents when people are talking shit about them online. It's simple things he does and he mostly does it without realising. It's what drew loves about him.

[romance-club-daily]

Who is your LI in each book and why/how did you pick 'em?

Let's go:

Sails in the Fog: Sebastian de Aldana, one of my first LIs (As you will see throughout the list, I have a thing for soft-hearted grumpy guys 🙈).

Moonborn: Max Fall, one of my favorite LIs, sneaky and fun guy.

My Hollywood Story: First I choose Jeff, but later I saw that he was a jerk and did a replay with Ray. I guess he's the better route on this book (but there's not a lot scenes with him :/).

Queen in 30 Days: Adam Huez, of all three. I like his route more. But he's annoying sometimes.

Shadows of Saintfour: Derek Nixon. I like the idea of ​​friends to lovers and to see their friendship, although it doesn't show much of them.

Wave Patrol: Jake Brown, hands down. My first LI ever, and another grumpy with a soft heart.

Seduced by The Rhythm: First I played with Justin, but he became unbearable, so I did Brandon's route and love it! His "redemption" arc is amazing!

Chasing You: Same case as above, but first Alexander Nielsen at first (he became a lot better later) and Ellia November. Ellia deserved more scenes... :/ he's such a passionate guy.

Heaven's Secret: Lucifer. Although I think this guy a little controversial at first, I really like his development by the end of the book.

Legend of the Willow: Kazu Naito a.k.a. the best LI in RC so far (until now at least). This man is everything.

Dracula: A Love Story: I'm on Vlad's route and I love this emo boi, but I too follow/watch Noe's path in the yt playthroughs and I think he's great too. So... both :D

Love From Outer Space: Todd Madison, he's super relatable and a cute nerd.

Rage of the Titans: I'm still waiting for a miracle, Marshall/Hephaestus has to become an endgame LI 🙂 I don't follow any of the other routes now.

Path of the Valkyrie: Ullr! Good guy! (But I follow/watch Sagr's one too)

Sophie's Ten Wishes: I'm on Benedict Reed's path. He's shy and cute, I liked him from the beginning. But I'm curious about Diego and Mitch's route too 👀

Sins of London: Sherlock Holmes! He's unbearable sometimes, but I still like him.

On Thin Ice: I was on Brian's route, then did a replay for Hodge. I liked both, but I came back for Brian, since I wanted to finished the book with him first.

Arcanum: Robert Steltz, his path of angst is so tempting and frustrating 🙂 But I guess we'll have a good reward later when he finally realizes his big love for Selena/Lilith 😀

Gladiator Chronicles: For now I'm trying to follow Paulina's path, but Stortia, Labelle and Augusta are calling for me too~ Still don't know what to do 🤡

Heart of Trespia: I was without a LI because none of them caught my attention, but Reinhold's arc get a grip on me later. So I'm in his route now. I just wanted D'Mario to appear earlier in the story 😀

The Flower from Tiamat's Fire: Sin! Hope we can have more scenes with him... Lyar is interesting too 👀

Theodora: This one will tear me apart 🥺 Lawrence stole my heart, then came John Roberts and Friedrich too 🤡 What am I suppose to do???

Hell and High Water: I guess will appear more LIs but I liked Chand.

Edit because I forgot ROTT and POTV 🤡

[hereidinathoreauwrites]

What your favorite ZEP ship says about you

Zoey x Max - you are heterosexual and/or you just want Skyler Austin to rail you. Zoey x Simon - you are sick of the best friends to lovers trope and hate S2. Zoey x Joan - you are one of about 20 gays who watched this show and really wanted it to be about anything other than heterosexual drama. Also, you want Lauren Graham to rail you. The two are not mutually exclusive. Zoey x Adrian - your ideal relationship dynamic is nerd/stoner. Zoey x Leif - you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of rivalries and the enemies-to-lovers trope. Joan x Ava - you’re just here for some power lesbians. Joan x Leif - you have about 800 teacher/student fics saved in your bookmarks. Leif x Tobin - your ideal relationship dynamic is soft gays. Max x Rose - you just wanted Rose to get Max out of the way so your team would win the love triangle wars. Mo x Perry - You just wanted good things for Mo and really, if you don’t you’re just an awful human. Maggie x Mitch or Emily x David - you’re just here for some wholesome side characters in healthy relationships. Zoey x herself - you hate love triangles and really wish this show had just given it up entirely in season one to let Zoey figure herself out without a man.

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

For a prompt, maybe Bobby having a job in high school where he teaches guitar to kids and Emily and Mitch mistakenly sign Luke up for lessons? (Bobby just doesn't sound like a teenager on the phone) Belated congratulations on the 500 milestone, btw ✨

Here you go, friend! I hope you like it! My first jatp AU fic lol :)

Read on ao3 here:

--

Here’s the thing: Luke already knows how to play the guitar.

Has he ever taken a lesson? Officially? No, of course not, because he’s not a nerd. But he’s been learning from YouTube tutorials for almost six years now, been writing his own stuff for four, been the lead singer and guitarist of an epic, legendary rock band for two. He’d say he’s pretty well covered in the “knowing how to play the guitar” department, without some crusty old guy showing him the chords to songs no one’s listened to since the 60s in the grimy basement of a church two hours a week.

And yet, here he stands, on the sidewalk outside said church, guitar case in hand and a truly menacing grimace on his face, staring up at the hand-painted sign on the door detailing “Guitar lessons for kids! Room B38” in big block letters.

“Well?” Alex, who drove Luke here because Luke is currently not on speaking terms with his mother and father out of pure unadulterated spite, claps a hand on his shoulder, already stifling giggles. “You ready for your lesson, kiddo?”

“I will kick you out of the band,” Luke threatens.

“Then you can walk home.” Alex jingles his keys teasingly, then tugs Luke into a quick hug. “Come on, man, I think it was a nice gesture. Try to make the most of it, at least your parents are trying.”

Right, because the whole reason Luke’s here is because his mom thought the lessons would be a good reward for Luke passing all his classes this semester. Because she heard him complaining that Sunset Curve needed a rhythm guitarist to fill out their sound and decided that meant he needed to learn how to do it himself, even though Luke tried to explain to her that he couldn’t play rhythm guitar and face-melting solos at the same time.

Of course, she didn’t listen, and then his dad found a flyer for this guy Robert giving lessons out of the local church, and before Luke could say no, the first month’s worth were already paid for and he didn’t have a choice.

And he supposes Alex is sort of right. At least his parents know what a guitar is. At least they’re trying to be somewhat, relatively supportive of his music, instead of pushing him to apply to college or get a job over the summer like they did constantly until he ran away for six months after Christmas and almost died (he’s fine now, but that near-death experience really changed his parents’ tune).

At least they actually acknowledge that he’s in a band at all, unlike Alex’s folks, whose friends think Alex volunteers at homeless shelters in his free time, or Reggie’s, who just don’t care.

Luke knows he’s got it good, compared to his friends, compared to himself a year ago. But that doesn’t mean he’s gotta be happy about it.

“All right, I’ll pick you up in an hour,” Alex says, giving Luke’s shoulder another friendly squeeze. “Try not to pout so much, it’s unbecoming.”

Luke gives him the finger, and Alex’s laughter echoes behind him as he heads back toward his car.

And then Luke sighs, grips his guitar a little tighter, and heads inside. He’s already here, he might as well get it over with.

Room B38 is a tiny classroom deep in the bowels of the church, reserved for Sunday School or daycare or some other such activity. The door’s closed, so Luke knocks, and a voice from inside calls, “Come in!”

A voice that does not sound like it belongs to the crusty old man Luke had been picturing.

He frowns, wondering if maybe he’s in the wrong place, but tugs the door open anyway and maneuvers himself and his guitar inside.

There’s no crusty old man waiting for him. There is, however, a handsome (Luke can’t help noticing and then feels stupid for noticing), young man, no more than a year or two older than Luke at most, sitting in a comically small plastic chair and tuning an acoustic guitar.

“Hey,” Luke greets him, raising an awkward hand. “You’re… Robert?”

“Please—Bobby,” the guy corrects, laying his guitar down on the carpeted floor next to him so he can stand and shake Luke’s hand. There’s a gleam of confusion in his eyes, and he glances over Luke’s shoulder like he’s looking for something as he says, “You must be Luke’s… older brother?”

Oh, Luke is going to kill his parents. “Uh, no,” he says, clears his throat awkwardly. “No, um… I’m Luke.”

Bobby lets out an undignified snort, and then claps his hand over his mouth. “Sorry, sorry,” he says, still sort of giggling. “I shouldn’t laugh, it’s just—most of my students are in the four to twelve age range? I thought you’d be, like, eight.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “Well, I thought you’d be, like, sixty, so I guess we’re both disappointed.”

“Not disappointed,” Bobby corrects, and his smile makes Luke’s stomach flip in a way he’d really rather not analyze too closely right now. Bobby nods down at the guitar case in Luke’s hand. “Should we get started?”

Luke’s tongue feels dumb and thick in his mouth, but he manages to stammer something vaguely affirmative, and Bobby grins at him.

They settle into the kiddy chairs across from each other, and Bobby picks his guitar back up while Luke pulls his own out of its case.

He briefly considers pretending to actually need guitar lessons so that Bobby will have a chance to show off, because Bobby’s cute and funny and clearly cares about music, and Luke doesn’t know how to flirt.

But Luke also doesn’t know how to play guitar badly. So they only get about twenty minutes into the lesson before Bobby stops and says, “You don’t need me, do you?”

“I really don’t,” Luke apologizes. “I play lead guitar in a band, I’ve been teaching myself since I was twelve, my parents are just—” he starts to say stupid, then remembers Alex’s words and amends—“a little clueless about this kind of thing.”

Bobby puts his guitar aside and leans forward in his chair. “What, have they never heard you play before?”

Luke resists the urge to roll his eyes. “No, they have, they just. We’re looking for someone—my band and me—to play rhythm guitar for us? My parents asked why I couldn’t do it, and when I explained it to them, they thought ‘I can’t play lead and rhythm at the same time’ meant I couldn’t play rhythm at all. I don’t know.” He shrugs a little, busies himself with putting his guitar back in its case.

“I could.”

Luke looks up, frowning. “You could what?”

Bobby raises his eyebrows pointedly, nods at the guitar lying at his feet. “Play with you guys. If you’re still looking for someone, I mean.”

Luke’s heart skips a beat, and a warm smile spreads across his face without his permission. “Seriously, man? That’d be amazing! Here, let me give you my number and you can come over sometime and meet the band.”

They exchange information, and Luke spends a little too long staring stupidly at the contact in his phone that Bobby has named “Guitar Teacher <3”.

“Plus,” Bobby says, and Luke looks back up to see him smirking as he returns his own phone to his pocket. “Now I get an excuse to see you again. Since you obviously don’t need the lessons.”

“Yeah,” Luke agrees. “Yeah, I’d really like that.”

“But, uh, maybe don’t tell your parents that. Cause I can’t give them a refund.”

--

Taglist: @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles @apples-bees @reggiescrookedteeth @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @shrimp-colours @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @shellydominique @julieandthequeers @joyandthephantoms @it-tastes-like-lizard

[fumikomiyasaki]

Monsville Story Chapter 17

The day arrived that the dorm prepared for. Leroy's Team and Henry's Team stood face to face trying to get Tasks done as fast as possible… Leroy actually did remove the Students that attacked Mellow and Mellow stood next to your group with Mitch and Suffy. 

Mitch: He really did change a Lot from Middle school… 

Ace: How is that?

Mitch: He was such a weird Nerd in middle school. 

Mellow: M-Mitch we shouldn't…

Mitch: If they don't know, they don't understand why this fight is so important. 

Suffy: I don't Like this either… but I think Mitch is right… 

Mitch: Leroy and Mellow were bullied in middle school but as Mellow said even as a small Kid Leroy Went through Lots of bullying.. because of His family being not Up to date, because of his looks, mainly cause He had glasses and much more. 

Ace: Wait, really? 

Mellow: It's something you shouldn't bring Up before him cause He still feels insecure after… which He tries to C-cover with His tough attitude. 

Mitch: He can't hear us right now. On the other side You have Henry… coming from a Family who is famed for Success. His father is known for pushing His sons to the Brink of being some of the most influential. If he were to lose His dorm Leader Position, it would make him a failure among his Brothers but more importantly… He couldn't realize His Dream of creating a world without Magic. 

Deuce: He really did have a hatred for Magic, I do hope He does Take our advice though. 

Mellow: Look. 

Mellow pointed at Henry's Team working really fast, nearly hard to See. Henry layed one of His Hands on some of the members shoulders. 

Suffy: He is using His unique Magic. 

Deuce: What?!

Mellow: Henry has the ability to enhance others Motivation and S-speed. It was a perfectly fitting one for him. This way His Team works much faster. 

On the other Side Leroy's Team was arguing. 

NPC1: You said you knew how it worked! Didn't you make a plan? 

Leroy: I thought you would have No Problem, it's very simple after all. 

NPC1: Not everyone is a wonder Mechanic like you, we needed a team Leader, Not all talk, no Action.  

NPC2: Did you at least have some blueprints? 

Leroy: Y-Yes. 

Leroy's voice shivered more than usual, the whole Team seemed in Panic. Henry calmly spoke Up. 

Henry: That was the Thing I wanted to teach you before… you might be very good at what to do, but it doesn't Help of you rely on your talent alone Leroy. 

Leroy: Shut Up. Don't mock me. 

NPC3: Henry is kinda right though, you spend this whole time shouting about how you want to Take the Dorm leader Position, but you didn't even prepare a plan for us how to do it and instead only pulled pranks and refused the members that actually knew how it worked… How can we trust your leadership like this?

Leroy grew silent but then took out his wrench and started working. 

Leroy: Fine If you will be Like that I will do this on my own… and show you… I will Show you all to take me seriously….

NPC 1: Try but you are only proving how alone and pathetic you really are...

He worked and worked on to keep up with Henry's Team but He was also using more and more of His Magic. Leroy started murmuring. 

Leroy: It doesn't Matter… it doesn't Matter at all… How many Times I change myself… in the end nobody accepts me… again I am alone… not even Mellow wanted to Help me this time… If this continues and I lose this… they will make fun of me again… it will happen again… I don't want it to happen again I… can't let it happen again...

Henry noticed something was off and asked everyone to Stop. 

Henry: It can't be…. Get Back.

Ace: Oh no, Leroy is… 

Leroy started crying, His tears revealed the Freckles that covered His face… and also, his eyes changed colors rapidly… as He Held His wand, which slowly Turned black from the ink surrounding him. 

As Ace and Deuce tried to step in, Leroy pushed them away with a shockwave…

Mitch by @pomalgranate​

Suffy by @unidraky​

[bjeanesthings]

Julie and the Phantoms: Alex’ Sibling

Read EP3 here

EP4: The Parents

“Julie, I think this is a bad idea.” Luke tried to convince her. They were on their way to ask permission of their parents. Julie, Flynn, you and, unknown to you, the boys.

“If she tells anyone that you guys are dead, we’re in major trouble.” Julie sighed. She wouldn’t be able to explain how she got the footage that you believed she had used to create the holograms. Luke and Julie fought out the argument in silence, until Luke relented.

Reggie was the only one of the group excited. He was pretty sure he was going to see his parents again. Even if they were probably divorced by now.

Alex was dreading this moment the most out of all of them. He hadn’t spoken to or seen his parents since he came out to them. He wasn’t sure they’d be any more accepting now.

----------------------------------------

“Are you ready?” You asked Julie and Flynn as you stopped in front of the Patterson home.

Julie looked so nervous that she seemed ready to puke. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

You nodded and knocked on the door. It didn’t take long from mister Paterson to open the door. “Y/N.”  He said cheerfully.

“Mister Patterson.” You smiled.

“Oh please, you know you can just call me Mitch.” He waved you in. “Come on in. The others are in the living room.”

“Thanks. Actually, I brought two people along, I hope you don’t mind.” You said. “They have something they want to show you.” Luke’s dad was already halfway into the living room when he called back that that was just fine with him.

Together with Julie and Flynn you followed him. Once you entered the room, you were quickly spotted by Luke’s mother who came to hug you. “Y/N, so good to see you.”

“Mrs Patterson.”  You hugged her back.

“Oh please, it’s Emily.” She reminded you. As soon as she let you go, Reggie’s mother was there to hug you. When Luke’s mom noticed Julie, she frowned. “You’re the girl who lives in the house where the boys used to practice.”

Julie blushed and received two surprised looks from Flynn and you. She had neglected to mention that she had met the Patterson’s before. “Uhm… yes. There’s actually something I want to show you.”

EP5 coming soon! All episodes can be found here

[gifs are not mine!]

@dpaccione @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @jjpogueprincess @marinettepotterandplagg  @nct-queen @caitsymichelle13 @aberette13 @random-nerd-3 @yeslifeofateen  @lolychu @princess-of-the-fandoms @xplrreylo @bitchdonsteponmytoe @oopsiedoopsie23​ @do-not-forget-your-towel @cmgmikealson @khiaraaa-in-spacee @idabean @satanslov3r @ifilwtmfc @must-be-a-weasley-92

[thegreatstoryteller]

NFL Swap: Out of the Stands

@mrcavanaughtf and I have worked on a new story together. Check out his blog for his side of things. Check the Google Doc here for this story with more pictures!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UR60YY4DH22CzprFbgF5s5GnihCABdpIAaYFYzvLby8/edit?ts=60044774

This was supposed to be an amazing day for Blake. He was at a football game for his favorite team, the Buffalo Bills, and he knew they’d win this game. His boyfriend was holding one of his hands, while the other held a bottle of his favorite beer.  Stadiums, great seats, and the experience of seeing a great game was Blake’s ideal afternoon… with his friends. Unfortunately his best bud, and former college teammate, Kierron bailed at the last minute after some unexpected food poisoning. Not wanting the ticket to go to waste, Blake was scrambling to find someone to go with, that was, until his boyfriend Mitch offered to go. 

Blake was a bit elated yet also a bit hesitant to accept, considering he knew that Mitch wasn’t exactly the football type. When they first met Mitch would tell him how he wasn’t into sports and Blake quickly surmised that the other was more of your classic twinky black nerd. He may have mentioned some passing dislike for the sport, but Blake couldn’t remember. How could ANYONE not like football? Blake knew it was out of the other’s comfort zone, but he didn’t want to shut Mitch out of something he loved so much, so he went along with it and the two were set to attend the Bills game.

That was the beginning of a very long day. When it came to everyday things, Mitch was great. The two of them were no strangers to long passionate nights together. He loved that Mitch still loved his big body even though most of his athletic muscle from college had turned to fat. They even bonded over a few TV shows, despite Blake refusing to watch Drag Race. Then again, any patience for Blake’s interests seemed to go out the window from the very start. It turned out that Mitch absolutely hated football and his negative energy was weighing on Blake as soon as they parked the car. The attempt to avoid any conflict by having Mitch tag along soon turned into more of a headache than he could’ve expected.

“Come on babe, games like these are always crowded,” Blake reassured his boyfriend as the little guy was shoved by aggressive fans running by. 

His reassurance seemed to have little effect. “Don’t worry about that guy, he’s just getting really into the game,” he tried again, as a larger fan pushed into Mitch’s seat when he cheered. 

All throughout the pre-game warm-up Blake was doing his best to get pumped for what was surely going to be a great game of football, but he’d always look back and see the sour expression on Mitch’s face. At first Blake wondered what was going through his mind. Back in college he never would’ve thought like that. A few years ago Blake had been the linebacker for his college football team, and the only things on his mind were getting huge and hooking up. Football was his first passion and all the popularity it gave him grew his ego as much as his muscles. Even being openly gay wasn’t an issue, since he had his pick of the male cheerleaders that would pretty much do anything he wanted, while being happy about it. 

That all changed after an injury kept him from going pro. He’d been pretty down on himself for the first few months, but then he met Mitch on a dating app. At this point Blake had put on some weight after being so down on himself and was more husky than buff, but Mitch didn’t care about any of that. In fact Mitch wasn't like any of the other guys he’d been with. He challenged Blake with more thought provoking conversation and didn’t seem to care about what he couldn’t be anymore. Blake wasn’t able to just flash a cocky grin and get what he wanted all the time with Mitch. Instead he had to be confident and assertive, which reinspired Blake to pursue things outside of football.

For the first few weeks of the two meeting up it was like the end of a romantic comedy, but all good things do come to an end. When football season started up Blake knew he wanted to hangout with his former teammates at the local sports bar to catch the game. He even tried inviting Mitch to these hangouts, but Mitch never took him up on it. Since then the two had struggled to spend more than a few hours with each other every week and it was getting tense.

As these memories passed through his mind, Blake knew Mitch had made him such a better man, even though things were hard. Occasionally he’d look at his phone and look at the picture he took of the two of them when they’d first met. They were so happy. Things were so easy. But as soon as he looked up he saw Mitch glaring and Blake immediately got defensive. Mitch was shouting about how Blake never made time for him, while Blake angrily replied, “Hey! Look I’m sorry you’re not having a good time here. I’m just trying to enjoy the game with my boyfriend. Why do you have to make things more difficult? Kieron and I just have a good time when we’re here. Why can’t you?”

That just stoked Mitch’s frustrations and he looked about ready to bound away angrily. Mitch began to fire back just as intensely, mentioning how he wished Blake would want to be around him as much as his teammates. The small man probably didn’t even hear Blake say, “I just wish you could understand how great this game is!”

-

Suddenly the world shifted before Blake’s eyes. Sure, he’d had a few beers already, but this was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Everywhere went dark, and a twisting feeling inside his body made it almost feel like he should throw up. Then, as quickly as it started, he seemed to be pushed back to reality, but now he was definitely not in his usual home game seat with his irritable boyfriend beside him. In fact, he wasn’t even sitting at all. He was on the field, surrounded by other Bills players! This was some sort of fever dream come true. Blake couldn’t believe his eyes as he looked at some of the incredible players around him. There was Devin Singletary, the Bills running back, doing some stretches next to the coach. Reggie Gilliam, the tight end, was talking to Tre White, the cornerback, about plays they had been running in practice.

Nothing about the situation made sense to Blake! Indeed, all of his excitement temporarily made him forget that he was viewing all of this from behind a football helmet. Not knowing what that was doing there, he immediately took it off and was shocked by the hands in front of his face. They were dark. Blake got his fair share of sun when he used to play outdoors a lot, but these were not the lightly tanned hands he’d seen for years. These were the hands of someone black, with the bandages around them looking like that of another player… these were- 

“Stefon!” yelled Coach McDermott. 

The sheer intimidating tone from the command made Blake stand upright and turn to its source. “Oh my gosh Coach McDermott!” Blake said, though he could swear he sounded different. 

“Get your ass on the field and warm up Stefon,” the no nonsense coach barked, as he walked towards Blake. Confused, Blake looked around as if to catch a nearby player slacking off. “You deaf Diggs?! Move it!” The angry coach shoved Blake on to the field and walked on to the field of the large stadium. 

He tried to take this scene in, but it was all too much. This would’ve been a dream come true before his injury, but too many things weren’t adding up. His skin wasn’t his, that voice didn’t sound like him, and he was pretty sure that the coach had called him Diggs. None of this made sense till the camera that panned over the field moved over to Blake. He looked into it confused and waved.  As he did he saw a large billboard like screen light up and suddenly the image of Stefon Diggs, the Bills wide receiver, was smiling awkwardly and waving just like Blake.

The camera moved away but Blake’s eyes went wide as he realized, “Holy shit! I’m Stefon Diggs!” He immediately smiled in confused relief. “Fuck at least some things make sense. But if I’m here, where's my real Stefon? Where’s my old body? Where’s Mitch!”  As these thoughts raced through his mind, he frantically searched the surrounding crowd of audience members. From this distance it was impossible to make out anything but blurs no matter how close he got. Blake thought he’d have to run up to his old seat to find his boyfriend, but suddenly a few panicked words grabbed his attention.

“B-blake! Where are you!?” shouted the Bills quarterback Josh Allen. This 6’5 man was imposing and normally rivaled Blake in terms of height. However from Blake’s new perspective he seemed even taller in person. In any other situation Blake would be starstruck. Unfortunately Blake knew Josh Allen didn’t know his name and this panicked cry was definitely out of character for the confident leader of the Bills. 

“Um… Josh are you alright?” Blake said approaching the hysterical quarterback. 

“Why do people keep calling me that? I have no idea how I got here or why I’m wearing this outfit. My name is Mitch!” the quarterback cried, looking on the verge of tears.

This without a doubt answered Blake’s question. “Mitch, baby it’s me Blake. I don’t know how it happened, but you and I are two football players on the Buffalo Bills.” 

It took a second to calm Mitch down. Seeing the panicked expression of this hulking quarterback, caught some unwanted attention from the surrounding team, but once he composed himself they managed to have an actual conversation. Blake could tell Mitch was way out of his depth, afterall he wasn’t even sure if Mitch knew how to play football. He didn’t even want to imagine how Mitch would act trying to pretend to be a quarterback. Memories of Mitch doing a strip tease in one of his old jerseys came to mind. 

However, at the back of his worries Blake actually felt a little excited. Even if this was some sort of weird hallucination, he had a chance to live out his dream of actually playing in an NFL game. So when Mitch began to panic and talked about running off the field Blake interjected. 

“Mitch, baby. You can’t do that. One, you’ll look crazy sobbing like that and running away. Plus, you’ll have reporters and fans all rushing to you asking what’s going on. I still have no idea what the fuck is going on, but I know one thing. You look like a quarterback named Josh. Let’s put it this way. To everyone else, you are one of the most famous guys here.”

With those words Mitch looked a little smug, almost proud. For a moment he didn’t see his nervous boyfriend behind the face of the Bill’s quarterback. Then a whistle blew and they realized their new coach was calling them over. The game was going to start soon. 

“Alright, just play along and nod to whatever the coach says.” Blake whispered up to Mitch. He still wasn’t used to their new height difference. Once the coach began barking out plays and strategies they’d be using, Blake immediately felt back in his element. He could feel his heart racing, his blood pumping, and his fists clenching in anticipation for the game. The rational thoughts in his head told him that he wouldn’t be playing his normal linebacker position and that since he looked like Stefon Diggs he’d be playing wide receiver. He gulped as the coach looked towards him and began giving specific instructions he wasn’t very familiar with from this position.

Mitch didn’t seem to be doing much better as he was nodding way too much and asking embarrassing questions. 

The next few minutes were painful to watch before the game began. But once they took the field, suddenly the reality of the situation began to feel all too real. 

How could he expect Mitch to do anything remotely athletic? Just because he had the body of a quarterback doesn’t mean he could actually play football! “Maybe muscle memory will kick in?” he thought hopefully to himself as heard the ball snap into Mitch’s hands. 

Blake couldn’t even blink before he heard the familiar sound of helmets hitting pads. When he turned around he could see Mitch lying flat on the field, already sacked by the opposing team. His immediate reaction was to go over and comfort his struggling boyfriend. After all, seeing Mitch get hurt, even if he did look like someone else, brought up Blake’s protective instincts. Surprisingly, before Blake could even react he saw Mitch get to his feet and stomp away. There was a familiar look of determination on his face, the kind of pouty yet serious face his boyfriend made when he was about to go on a long rant. Only now, on Josh Allen’s face, it looked like a man ready to try his hardest. 

Luckily for Blake, after several years of watching football and playing as a linebacker in college, he’d picked up a few things from the wide receivers. In fact the only thing Blake had to get used to was his more agile body. He may have gotten a bit overweight in his previous life, but now he felt like he could run a mile a minute. His leaner body was conditioned perfectly for receiving deep passes into the endzone after all.

It didn’t take long for the game to progress pretty badly for the Bills. Mitch still couldn’t seem to get a single successful play in when they were on offense, leaving Blake often staring sullenly at his boyfriend from the distance. At third down and nine yards to go, the coach ordered a passing play to try and gain the much needed first down.  Blake silently hoped Mitch understood the meaning behind this play. When the rest of the team took position Blake was pleasantly surprised as he saw Mitch move with an unexpected proficiency. Mitch took a few quick steps back and scanned the field as his receivers attempted to duck and weave past the Patriots defenders. 

It was the other wide receiver Cole Beasley, who seemed to get separation first, so Blake saw Mitch pull back his arm and throw the ball at full force towards his teammate. Blake was about to jump up and cheer at this miracle of a play, but he soon saw that Mitch had severely overestimated the throwing ability of the quarterback’s body. The ball shot past Beasley like a missle and skidded down into the turf some twenty yards away.  While the play was a bust, it was kind of funny seeing Mitch look down at himself surprised by his own strength. He could swear he even saw Mitch give a cheeky flex to himself. Though that didn’t matter. No matter how strong Mitch felt, no amount of strength would save this game alone. 

“Yo Diggs, what’s gotten into Josh? He’s been off his game all day!” Cole Beasley said jogging up to Blake. It took him a second to register that this was directed at him as Cole replied, “Oh uh… yeah man. I don’t know. That pass was miles off. Maybe he’ll pick it up later.” As Blake looked over to Mitch, every part of him just wanted to comfort his obviously struggling boyfriend. But his gaze didn’t meet a panicked quarterback on the verge of tears, instead a steadfast expression seemed to solidly replace any sense of doubt that was once there. He couldn’t even recognize his boyfriend’s uncertainty on that face.

There were only twenty seconds left to play in the first quarter by the time the Bills offense returned to the field. Blake knew that with such little time left on the clock, they had to attempt a passing throw so they could try and get a first down and start the second quarter with at least a chance. Once again he knew he had to rely on his inexperienced boyfriend to start this play, but once again Blake was pleasantly surprised.

As soon as the ball was in Mitch’s hands, he dropped back and in a split second his eyes locked directly with-. “Blake!” Mitch called out. His new voice was powerful enough to reach across the field and catch Blake completely off guard. His boyfriend let the ball loose, as players on both teams alike wondered who ‘Blake’ was. A certain sense of relief and expectant pride surged through Blake as he rushed forward and jumped to receive the pass. The ball sailed right into his waiting arms and with a surge of speed he’d never experienced he took off towards the endzone in a sprint.  He was so overcome with pride for Mitch, he hadn’t seen the opposing team coming when he was brought down. But even as Blake was getting up, he knew that the ten yards they’d just gained was better than nothing.

“Ten down, only sixty-five more yards to go,” he said to Cole Beasley as he returned to the team. 

“At this rate it’ll be close to impossible, but I like that hope Stefon,” the other replied.

Lucky for them, it seemed like Mitch had gained a little confidence. Mitch was able to rocket off two consecutive screen passes in the second quarter much to Blake’s surprise. Sure, they only got a few yards each but Blake would be the last to guess his boyfriend was capable of such a consistent play. 

As he witnessed this growing display of skill from Mitch, he looked to the crowd. Part of him wondered if the real Stefon Diggs and Josh Allen were there watching this game equally invested and confused. Would those two try to catch them after the game? Would they be furious with how the game was going so far?

Blake didn’t have much time to consider this though as the game progressed quickly. After almost eight minutes of playtime, the Bills were finally only two yards from the opposing team’s endzone and it didn’t look like Mitch was about to let all the hard work go to waste.

 As they gathered in the huddle, Blake found himself receiving orders from Mitch with a newfound sense of authority. “I’m going to fake the hand-off, then send it to Bl-- to Diggs,” he declared, catching his boyfriend’s eye and nodding. “We’ve all just gotta make them believe we’ve gone in on the run play and catch them off guard with the pass. Everyone clear?” A chorus of grunted affirmations came back in response that Blake instinctively joined in. 

Both men were surprised with what happened next. Once the play started the defenders all burst forward to try and stop the run. Adrenaline pumped through every fibre of Mitch’s tall body as he fired the ball up and over the throng of bodies and into the waiting arms of Blake as he tore across the empty endzone. Blake had a lot of proud moments in his football career, but that feeling he got when he knew that his actions just caused the perfect play to workout  would always be his favorite.  As soon as he made it to the endzone, he could hear the chorus of cheers from the thousands of fans around him. 

The roar of the crowd filled Blake with the long forgotten feeling of glory he’d only felt on the old gridiron. He almost didn’t see his huge boyfriend bounding towards him in a surprising chest bump. He didn’t even know Mitch was aware guys did that in football.

As they touched all Blake wanted to do was surround his arms around his new bigger boyfriend, but the rest of the team was soon surrounding them to join in the celebration. It barely crossed Blake’s mind that he was feeling admiration instead of love for Mitch as their team began celebrating. Part of his mind saw this great man before him and thought of him as an amazing leader, not a lover.

The entire team entered the locker room in high spirits from this recent success. However, Blake was quickly pulled aside by Mitch who easily led him away from their team. Mitch seemed to be nervously explaining how he was losing himself to Josh and his abilities. Not wanting Mitch to freak out further, Blake did his best to reassure him. “Bro, it’s totally alright. You’re playing great out there. Anything out of the ordinary is something we can handle together after the game. I know you. You’ll be fine. You’re an amazing QB- I mean boyfriend.”

When Mitch began to ask if Blake was feeling similarly he replied, “I uh… I’m not really sure. I definitely feel weird compared to how I normally played football. But all these skills just came naturally to me I guess. I thought it was just because I was so good… but I guess there could be something there.” When Blake saw Mitch’s reaction he had a feeling nothing he’d said would have put his mind at ease. Though the more Blake stared at him, the more he began to feel less of a longing to be with that man romantically. The same fire in the stomach that Mitch provided Blake wasn’t there when he stared at this handsome quarterback. 

A passing glance at the mirror began to confirm some of his fears. The more he stared at the African American man in the mirror the more things felt… right. Picturing himself as a bulky overweight white guy seemed to get harder and harder despite how true that may have been a few hours ago. Even his memories felt a bit strange as he stared at Stefon Diggs’ locker. Top of the line designer clothes were strewn about inside this area, the type of clothing more suitable for the old Mitch rather than Blake. But somehow part of him felt pride in being known as the most fashionable player on the Bills.

Before he knew it, half time was over and Mitch had already gotten the second half of the game off to a strong start. In just three plays they were already in the red zone and aiming to get another six points on the board. The Patriots were in the lead but it was still a one touchdown game. 

Once they were in the huddle, Blake didn’t even question Mitch calling out the plays and confirming with his teammates that they knew what was expected of them. To him listening intently to the man with the plan felt like the most natural thing in the world. Then, like a well oiled machine, they were meeting those expectations and Mitch was able to deliver the football into the hands of Beasley for another fifteen yards, putting them only ten yards away from the endzone. 

Part of Blake was worried when the play broke down and it looked like all of the receivers were being covered, Blake included. By some miracle though Mitch spotted a hole in the defense to his right, tucked the ball under his arm and took off like a pro! Hurdling over one of the defenders diving towards him, Mitch allowed his momentum to carry him forward and right into the endzone. Even though the explosion of movement had ended with him crashing down on his back, they had done it! He bathed in the outburst of approval from the crowd as he and his teammates helped Mitch back up. All of them were eager to congratulate him with various pats on his back, helmet and even his ass, although he was under no delusions that they were anything more than just displays of sportsmanlike approval. 

That last part was really driven home when they’d passed the nearby assembled cheerleaders. Each one of their cheers and dances doing nothing to hide their amazing bodies that Blake and many of the others were innately drawn to. 

This was when the rest of Blake’s inhibitions began to erode. The small bits and pieces of Blake that had persisted through this game were finally and seamlessly falling in line with Stefon Diggs. Even staring at Mitch was beginning to become difficult without acknowledging him as his quarterback Josh.  As the game continued every amazing play done by Josh or outstanding pass to him were clear reminders of how great teammates they were, not boyfriends. 

With only two minutes left on the clock in the fourth and final quarter, the Bills had created a dominant lead with thirty-five to the Patriots’ seventeen. It had been a team effort; both the offense and the defense had busted their ass to pull them back from such a miserable start. As Stefon returned to the field, he was unable to remember what had caused Josh’s poor form at the beginning of the game. But under his QB’s guidance they were able to run the clock down until there were just fifteen seconds left and another twenty-five yards to go. It would have been perfectly acceptable for them to take a knee and let the clock run out but Josh had other ideas. “Diggs, you ready for one more big throw?” he asked his teammate and best friend once they were in the final huddle of the game. 

“Hell yeah man, let’s finish this!” Stefon replied.

He flashed a grin across at his buddy, then Josh laid out his plans to the rest of the team. After facing off against the Patriots defense for the entire game, the Bills quarterback was confident that he had a good read on them and knew precisely how to play them to get the coverage off of Diggs. Sure enough, they took the bait hook, line and sinker; Diggs was left with only one defender trailing after him. Pulling his arm back, Josh fired the ball into the air like a rocket and watched it hang in the air for several seconds before arcing down into the endzone, where it was caught by the diving wide receiver just as the final few seconds on the game clock ran out. 

The eruption of applause from everyone around was nearly deafening. Part of Stefon felt like he’d missed this experience for some unknown reason, but that part was quickly pushed aside by his various teammates shaking him with congratulatory excitement. Amidst all the excitement Stefon was glad to see that his best friend Josh still had time amidst the interviews and paparazzi to catch up with him. 

“Another killer game, dude!” he praised, pullin the other in for a quick friendly hug. “Now, how ‘bout me and you play some Warzone when we’re home? I’m all fired up after that W!” 

Stefon could only laugh. “Sure man. Would rather be playing games with you rather than taking you out to a bar. Can’t be caught dead with a guy who looks like a scrub everytime we go out!” Josh raised a few defensive remarks about dressing how he feels like, but the two just laughed and did their signature handshake.

As Stefon was still riding the rush from a win, he couldn’t think about a better way to spend time with his best friend. He was lucky to have met someone so amazing. Maybe one day Josh would be best man at his wedding. After all, his girlfriend would be wanting a ring soon. If he played his cards right maybe he’d get a superbowl ring the same year as a wedding ring. 

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Do you think that Hawk going violet will happen in a big emotional time? Like he's feeling like he's still a Cobra and gets confused and wants to leave Miyagi-fang (?) but something happens and he realizes that he's not a Cobra.

YESSSS this would be great!!!

Like I’m imagining Hawk feeling pretty conflicted because it’s been several weeks and STILL no one in the dojo really seems to like or trust him aside from Demetri and Miguel. Like even Mitch and Bert are wary of him, having seen firsthand how far under Kreese’s influence he ended up falling--and perhaps they’re a little jealous too, since he got to stay in Cobra Kai while they were both booted out. Johnny is glad to have Hawk back in his class, but he still can’t help but be a little angry with him for choosing Kreese over him initially--he knows HE’S the one who toughened Hawk up, not Kreese, and he can’t help but remember how readily Hawk dismissed him at first.

Maybe word gets out about Hawk trashing the Miyagi-Do dojo the previous summer--perhaps Miguel confides in Sam about it, and Sam, in a moment of hotheaded weakness, storms out into the dojo courtyard and confronts Hawk. I dunno if she would be mean enough to yell at him in front of everyone, but people almost certainly overhear regardless--and when it gets back to Daniel, ohhh boy. Hawk and Daniel were warming up to one another, and Daniel was even trying to help Hawk through some of his anger issues--but once he finds out that Hawk stole Mr. Miyagi’s medal of honor, all bets are off. (At least for now--Daniel has a way of coming around. But Hawk sure as hell doesn’t know that.)

After the whispers about what Hawk did the previous summer start spreading around the dojo, people avoid him even more. People look at him like he’s even more of a monster. Daniel doesn’t interact with him any more than is absolutely necessary. Hawk apologizes, of course--tries to channel as much emotion into it as he can so people know it’s genuine. But no one seems to believe him, and he can’t help but be confused about what else he’s supposed to do. Apologies for him have always been a one-and-done deal, and he’s not sure why everyone else isn’t accepting it like Demetri was. He doesn’t know what else to do to communicate he’s serious.

Demetri and Miguel both vouch for him, of course. Demetri especially--he’s used to getting across what Eli’s trying to communicate, attuned from years of practically being Eli’s voice. Demetri never wants to leave Hawk’s side, standing centimeters apart from him at karate practice and swinging a protective arm around him to squeeze his shoulder whenever people shoot Hawk suspicious looks. Despite his friends’ efforts, Hawk is miserable--he feels like he’s under the worst kind of microscope, and no matter what he does, no one is going to trust him.

He feels guilty about it, but he finds himself longing for his Cobra Kai days. How he was respected, feared, celebrated for his strength and his fighting skills and his ruthlessness. Now, it feels like everyone flinches at them--even Miguel and Demetri, on occasion. He just isn’t admired--just isn’t appreciated--like he used to be, no matter how much Demetri tries to reassure him. “I know they’ll trust you eventually. It’ll just take time!”

Hawk isn’t sure they’re ever going to trust him.

Sometimes he wonders if he should go back to Cobra Kai, regain the fame and the prowess and the fear of everyone who dared to cross him. He’d take Miguel and Demetri, of course--he can’t bear to be pitted against either of them ever again. But a bit of intensive training on the side for both of them, and he’s sure they could make it in Kreese’s Cobra Kai. They’re both incredibly skilled fighters, and the thought of the three of them becoming the three most intimidating fighters in the Valley is oddly cathartic to Hawk. The three most pathetic losers in the school, risen to great heights to be terrifying warriors who people were scared to so much as breathe wrong around. Demetri will come, Hawk is sure--Demetri would follow him anywhere, as long as he gets Hawk’s word that Hawk will never turn on him again. And Miguel...well, it might take some convincing to get him to leave the LaRusso girl, but if Demetri comes, Miguel will surely want to be with his two best friends more than his annoying girlfriend.

Hawk is walking home one day from karate training (a training that Demetri never showed up to--a bit odd, but Hawk figures he must have just called out because he had a lot of AP homework), thinking about how best to try and loop Miguel and Demetri into extra training, when his phone rings. He picks up, and it’s Miguel--panicked, hyperventilating, voice cracking like he’s been crying, rushing words out through raspy breaths. He’s hard to understand, talking fast with his voice choked with sobs, but Hawk makes out something about “Demetri” and “an ambush near the park.”

Hawk is at the location in minutes, sprinting there at top speed despite running never being his forte (Demetri was always the faster one between them). Demetri is lying motionless on the cement, passed out with his flannel slowly soaking through with blood. Hawk runs to him in a hysteria, screaming and crying and begging for him to be okay.

While Miguel calls an ambulance, Hawk is frantically looking over Demetri, trying to figure out where all that blood is coming from. No amount of punches and kicks could draw out that amount of blood. Then he lifts up Demetri’s shirt, and lets out a strangled whimper.

The Cobras are fighting with knives now, apparently. And someone--probably Kyler--carved “COBRA KAI NEVER DIES” across Demetri’s back.

And Hawk can’t stop crying because he knows this is his fault. There’s only one reason the Cobras would target Demetri--he was the reason for their latest deserter, and they knew that.

Or maybe he had simply been someone from a rival dojo in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe the Cobras were just those kinds of people.

Because it was never strength and power that Kreese cared about--it was war. Using dojo rivalries as an excuse to get away with hurting people because he enjoyed it. Because them being on the “opposite side” made it seem justified, somewhere in his twisted mind.

The doctors have to practically drag Eli out of Demetri’s hospital room. Luckily they’re able to at least reassure Eli that Demetri is going to be okay--it’s the only way to get him to leave. There are more knife wounds that he didn’t see at first, but they didn’t hit anything vital--thank god. Demetri’s lost a fair bit of blood, but he’ll be all right.

The text scrawled across his back most likely won’t scar, if Demetri cares for the wound properly. And that’s enough for Eli--he knows how meticulous Demetri is. He’ll get through it.

Still, the red stains on Demetri’s shirt and the dark cuts slicing through his skin are seared in Eli’s mind as he drives home. When he gets in the shower that night, he thinks of the words carved into Demetri’s back and his lips curl up in a snarl. He grabs a bottle of bleach, emptying the entire contents onto his limp scarlet hair.

Hawk bleaches and bleaches until the shower is a mess and the entire bathroom smells of cleaning products and every trace of the distinctive Cobra Kai red is completely annihilated. Cobra Kai never dies? Bullshit--they’re dead to him.

His eyes trail to a bottle of hair dye on the top shelf of the shower rack, and he grins. He’s been toying with the idea for a while now, but now...he’s never been more certain in his life. With the red gone, and Cobra Kai truly behind him...it’s time.

When Demetri wakes up in the hospital the next day. The first thing he sees is a jagged purple shape clouding his vision--hair, he realizes. “Who are you?” he mumbles.

“Come on, Deme, how many people do you know with a goddamn mohawk?” a familiar voice says.

His eyes focus to find Eli smirking at him, hair up in deep violet spikes. His hand feels warm, and he looks down to see Eli’s holding it.

Demetri hopes his blush isn’t too visible.

“Holy shit, dude.” Demetri can’t help but grin. “You look great. Why the change?”

“After seeing what they did to you, I couldn’t...do a Cobra Kai color anymore.” Eli bites his lip. “And it just reminded me of all the awful stuff I did there, too. But uh...you know how Sensei LaRusso is always talking about balance?” Demetri just nods.

“I guess I thought I needed something like that. Like I want to be cool and intimidating and kick ass, like Sensei Lawrence and Miguel. But I also want to be all...I dunno...rational and wise and moral and shit, like you and Sensei LaRusso. And Eagle Fang’s got the red thing, and Miyagi-Do’s got the blue thing, so I was like...maybe I should mix them? For balance?”

“Ohhhhh!” And here comes Demetri’s shit-eating grin. Hawk isn’t sure why he expected any different. “You think I’m ‘rational and wise and moral and shit,’ Eli? I thought you thought I was a ‘lame nerd!’”

Eli just rolls his eyes. “God, shut up. You can be both.”

“Also, are you going to stop holding my hand?”

“No.”

Demetri just snickers and leans back, enjoying the sensation of Eli’s fingers between his.

“I was thinking about leaving, you know,” Eli admits quietly, after a beat.

Demetri sits up, staring at him in shock. “What?”

“I didn’t feel like I belonged,” he explained. “I didn’t feel like anyone wanted me there, after everything I’d done. No one but you believed me when I said sorry. I thought maybe I’d be happy if I went back to Cobra Kai, took you and Miguel with me so I wouldn’t have to fight you and we could all become strong together without...without everyone looking at me like I was evil. But now? I never want anything to do with those assholes ever again. Not after they hurt you like that.”

Demetri looks at Eli so softly that Eli thinks he might melt. Then Demetri breaks out in another huge smirk. “Awww, you were going to try and bring me back to your evil karate cult with you? How thoughtful of you!”

“Oh my god, shut up. Yes, I think you would’ve been good enough to survive in there. Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Also, are you still holding my hand?”

“Maybe I am. Mind your business.”

When Demetri takes said hand and uses it to yank Eli forward and kiss him full on the mouth, Eli isn’t about to complain. 

When they pull apart, Demetri is a spluttering mess, quickly apologizing and insisting he wasn’t thinking. Eli just laughs, and pulls him forward by the neck so their foreheads are pressed together. “God, I’ve wanted that for so long, Demetri. Don’t you dare apologize for it.”

A short pause. “I know it’s been hard for you,” Demetri adds quietly. “At the dojo. But you have to believe me when I say they’ll come around. I know you’re a good person, Miguel knows, and everyone else will realize it too. It’s just going to take some time. But you’ll figure out how to make it up to them. I believe in you.”

“Okay.” Hawk closes his eyes and exhales slowly, letting himself relax. “As long as I’m with you, it’ll be fine.”

[nocluewhatsupg]

Headcanons for Michael? Little stabby stalking boy? Please and thank you <3 i really like your take on these characters

since we stan Laurie Strode in this house all of these headcanons will be making fun of that bastard Mitch.

we say that Miguel’s spookiness comes from a mixture of natural serial killer and supernatural being, and we’ll give headcanons that hint to both sides (because Mickey’s nature is much more interesting when it’s unknown ;] ).

Mica Myers HCs

With Michael, it’s the same issue we met with writing Jason, that being Micheal doesn’t actually have any sort of personality besides staring at Laurie and being a bastard. (or having a weird boner, if you’ve read the novelization)

The only way we see anyone befriending him is if they meet him during his childhood. Becoming the boogeyman was a slow but steep decline into madness, and he was a somewhat normal child in the beginning.

As a child, he was quiet. He talked, even if he didn’t know it, when it profited him. He did not search for socialization, nor did he seek acceptance from his peers.

In the novel, it is mentioned that the weeks leading up to Michael murdering Judith, he had begun peeing his bed. (fucking nerd) Interestingly, the Macdonald triad is a set of three factors that were most commonly found in serial killers when they were children, one of which included pissing their pants along with arson and cruelty to animals (man eats dog meat. point proven). Two of the three factors must be present to lead to criminally violent behavior, and since we see Micheal murder and consume dogs, and have never seen him set something on fire on purpose, he 100% pissed his fucking bed. Since this triad (although outdated now) was suggested in the 1963, before the movie had come out and thus existed to be of interest/reference to either Carpenter himself or to the directors fleshing out Michael’s character, Michael most likely canonically pissed his bed like a little bitch. (source: dude who cares this is a headcanon about michael pissing his bed)

Back to his childhood, he most likely took out his frustrations on animals. It wasn’t that he had a particularly large amount of stress (the opposite, since part of Michael’s horror is that he came from a perfectly good childhood), it was that he simply didn’t know how to deal with it normally. With an already tainted mind from birth, he decided that murder was just the solution to all of his problems.

He didn’t collect the animals he killed. Occasionally, he’d take the bloody messes of feathers and fur and reposition them. In the beginning, it was to hide what he’d done, but as the years went on and he stayed under the radar he became far more creative. Michael would gingerly replace the carcasses where he found them. Then, that too grew boring and he settled on leaving the animals on sidewalks or on the streets, running back to the safety of his home and smiling as people walking looked down and gasped.

Michael might have also taken out some of this exaggerated aggression on his classmates. While he didn’t specifically go out of his way to harm them, he wasn’t afraid to encourage them to stay away. He was fond of twisting other’s arms and pinning them against their backs, then pulling up so sharply he nearly broke their arms. When questioned, he would smile charmingly, flutter his long eyelashes, and with a sweet voice he’d assure teachers he had no clue what they were talking about. While his classmates would survive the encounter, they never would forget how Michael wouldn’t react to their cries of pain, and how chillingly stoic he was during the whole ordeal. 

Judith thought it was odd how distant her little brother was from her, but she didn’t really care. It was less she had to hang around her childish sibling, and more time she had to herself. While Michael did nothing to befriend her, he did expect her to treat him with priority. When she didn’t, since she couldn’t read his mind, Judith would awaken to a dead mouse hanging from the doorknob to her room.

As expected, he was close to Cynthia from the moment she was born. He hovered around her crib until he was shooed out of his parent’s room to allow her rest, and scooted his chair closer to hers at the dinner table. Cynthia herself was indifferent to Michael’s presence, cooing and fussing just as a normal baby would. She would reach up curiously, and wrap her small hand around his finger, and he would freeze on the spot. The look in his eyes were chalked up to brotherly love, but after Judith’s murder, his parents weren’t so sure it was love they hope for.

It doesn’t really matter what specifically happened to Michael during his stay at Smith’s Grove, because it’s most likely that he didn’t do anything of interest. Of course, cruel and ignorant staff played a big part, but even without the neglect it was most likely Michael would grow to the murderous man he became either way.

Probably watched those shitty soap operas whose plot is 95% mindless filler. He watched them religiously once he discovered them by accident, every single night on the dot he’d stride into the common room, take his place on the ratty sofa, and watch. Oh, you were watching something else? Do you want to keep your head attached to your body?

He didn’t even have to threaten anyone. Michael got his way from intimidation.

Since Michael (presumably) wasn’t caught after his first and second movie chaos, it’s safe to assume his injuries were never properly cleaned. After his hype to kill Laurie died down, he promptly collapsed on the ground and passed out until the directors wanted to refurnish their kitchens and brought him back to the big screen for easy cash. Not only did he most likely did not have the slightest clue how to properly care for his wounds, he probably didn’t care. So Michael smells like ass because he doesn’t shower, and because he most likely had an infection.

In murder mode, physical ailments would never stop him. Outside of stalking, stabbing, or strangling, it was a different story. His chest, arms, and stomach burned. Michael’s head swarmed with a persistent fever. Since he spent most of his time in a dream, he doesn’t physically look fatigued. He refused to show weakness, but he couldn’t shake the stumble he occasionally carried. Not to mention he smells like a rotting carcass.

Will stab the wall in warning, glaring at you as eight inches of sharp steel punctured another hole. Goes out of his way to stab at really awkward angles, so it’s difficult for you to cover it up.

Last but not least, we leave you with a final line from the novel that we cherish so much, written from Michael’s POV while he stalks Annie: